We were wronged ... V(r)ongw(r)ong-ed!!

After an incredibly hectic two days at work we wrapped up last night and drove down to Vongwong at Express Towers, Nariman Point (Mumbai) for a mega family dinner. The event was Navroz -  Parsi New Year and the family wanted to be together.

The gang wanted to eat oriental and we all wanted to try out this place about which we had heard so much. Me and Dad had called, booked for 21 PAX and pre-ordered. It was a set menu and Mr Bruce their manager advised us - we accepted and asked him for a 9.30pm reservation, he politely informed us that 10pm was the time that he could book us for, we told him we had little children with us and that 10 pm was pushing the envelope, he apologised and said he couldn't make it earlier but that we would be assure of a table at 10.

We actually managed to get there by 10 ... and considering the logistics of 4 cars three houses, 6 kids all 6 yrs and under .... it was a miracle. This is when things began to unravel. The table wasn't ready and we were told they were clearing up and would take 5mins ... 15mins later we were led into a small curved nook that could barely fit 8 and made to wait for a further 20 mins ... we were thirsty and asked for water, when after many requests the water was served it consisted of two glasses. For 21 people this should have been sign enough.

We were ushered to our table at 10.40pm ... we asked for the three starters (Golden fried prawns, Pepper corn chicken & Roast Pork Chilly) as the kids were starving and so were we ... at 11.03 we were served the first - One Prawn each! I know the exact time because we were jokingly betting the food wouldn't come before 11. 10 minutes later we were served the chicken. It was spicy, over-fried and dry. The Pork arrived after prompting them thrice and the soup - supposedly Manchow Chicken, arrived before it. The soup was served in an assortment of bowls, some bowl shaped some short and cylindrical and some that looked like dessert bowls ... the quantity/volume of soup in each bowl was different! The soup tasted like a spicy diluted Mumbai street food Gobi Manchurian gravy ... it took me 4 spoonfuls to find the chicken.

The Pork was nice but there wasn't enough to go around,we asked for more and a repeat of the prawns (PS the menu was supposedly unlimited) ... at 10 minutes to midnite we were served one more prawn each ... lots of batter for extremely small prawn, the Pork chilly never came back. 

Suddenly three small platters of ribs were placed on the table, we said this wasn't in our order, why was it here? The waiter dropped the dishes and disappeared. we wondered what to do. He returned  5 minutes later with Mr Bruce who informed us, whilst smiling plastically, that these were complimentary. We requested they please serve the main courses ASAP but all at once. He nodded affirmatively and rolled off.  

More of the over-fried chicken arrived.

At 12.15 the Lotus leaf rice, Basa in lemon-chillie-mint-coriander and the Thai Green chicken curry arrived ... wonder of wonder there were three waiters to serve us too! The food was nice. The curry was really good. It was then that we realised that the star of the main courses - the Sweet and Sour Crispy Lamb was AWOL!! It arrived 15 minutes later when we were almost finished. Though I must say it was superb. 

We asked them to serve us the dessert (Tom Tim Krob) ... and things went further down the potty. We had asked them to serve the kids plain Vanilla IC and serve the rest of the 15 persons the TTK. the brought 6 vanilla IC and 9 TTK to the table. The TTK was served in condiment bowls of 100ml size and that too filled only half. It was delicious and over in 4 teaspoonfuls ... oops there were no teaspoons ... this took 5 more minutes. The ice cream that went with the TTK arrived next with no service spoon. Then after a further 10 mins or so the rest of the desserts arrived in soup bowls!! We asked to see Bruce immediately. He came over and appeared most mystified at our complaints we informed him that the ice cream with the dessert came after the dessert and that this was ridiculous. five minutes later a large bowl of TTK arrived with a small soup spoon in it and was unceremoniously thumped on the table. This was followed by a similar bowl filled with scoops of Vanilla and no spoon!! 

At wits end and with 6 very cranky and sleepy kids we asked for the bill, this took another 10 minutes and took further 10 mins to get us the change. Bruce was fired by all of us individually ... he responded by giggling and saying he was sorry and we should 'understand how it was' ... after all he had given us a 40% discount and we were supposed to be thrilled. By the way - he had also added a '10% Ex-gratia Charge', when asked he told me this was in lieu of the tip!

We were so sick by then that we left ... a terrible ending to a beautiful day. I will never eat at Vongwong ever again, I will never recommend it, I will actively dissuade anyone from going there.

The food wasn't bad neither was it fantastic, the service was abysmal (and that's being kind), water was never served without asking for it. 

The Manager Mr Bruce is a blithering idiot and couldn't manage a automatic napkin dispenser in a public toilet. He should seriously think of an alternative profession before he sinks this restaurant completely. 

The owners need to go to a real stand alone restaurant like Ling's Pavillion to see how it's done. They should be hanging their heads in shame at how badly 21 people were treated and the domino effect is sure to have far reaching consequences. 

I am in the food business and we do mess up sometimes, but not like this and if we do we do serious damage control. The basic start of which is owning up to one's failure and waving the bill completely. 

Vongwong has the wrong approach and will not last long if this is their choice. You couldn't pay me to go here again!

This was the melted scarred melamine bowl in which my brother was served his TTK.
Bruce's comment ...this happens yaar.

Sans Churros

After hearing and reading about the delicious snack that was quintessentially the Spanish pinnacle of chocolate inspired snacking - The Churro, for the last few years, I was thrilled to hear that an authentic Churro shop had finally opened in Mumbai.

San Churro at Waterfield Rd, Bandra was a destination that kept being put off for another day thanks to logistics and often sheer laziness. Finally yesterday I made it there. It was 9.45pm and the place was empty. It had a nice European (wood panelled, soft yellow lights, chome and glass counter) feel to the place, marred by a cartoonish mural of Hernando Cortez and a mermaid.   To add to my woes the chairs were pretty uncomfortable for someone my size and upon requesting a chair without handles I was informed that there were none.

I was ravenous after a long hard day and ordered a mug of thick Spanish Hot Chocolate along with a Potato Paprika Roll and a Chicken Salad Panini ... service was slow but I had time on my hands.

About 20mins later the lone waiter delivered my sandwiches and a bit later the hot chocolate. The beverage was delicious and almost one of the best Hot Chocolates I've had in Mumbai (though I must say that the one at Kitabkhana at Fountain is better). I settled into my chair and took a bite of the chicken salad sandwich, it oozed a bland generic chicken Mayo paste all over my hand. It was soggy and had a wilted darkened strip of lettuce that had seen better days, I removed the lettuce and went back to the sandwich with a fork and knife.

I then reached out for the Paprika Potato Roll and found something incredibly rubbery and simultaneously crunchy in it. A second bite convinced me something was very wrong. I opened the sandwich to find slices of oxidised blackened raw potatoes in it! The idiot who assembled it had forgotten to cook the potatoes (see picture for proof). I looked around noticed no glass of water and requested the waiter, after frantic gesticulation, to get me one. I then informed him of the raw potato ... he smiled politely and went back to his station leaving the sandwich where it was!!

Mystified I figured I needed to change the taste in my mouth. I called for their small serving of 3 Churros with Dark dipping chocolate ... the churros were fried in front of me, dusted with powdered sugar and sent out with a small bowl of dipping chocolate. I took a bite of plain churro and was rewarded with a rather pleasant combination of textures and taste, sweet, crusty, cake-ish, chewy, soft and very like a warm freshly baked pastry! I was mollified and reached out to dip my next morsel. the next morsel destroyed the nice happy feeling the churro had created. The chocolate, expensive and fancy no doubt, was gut wrenchingly sickeningly sweet ... it was almost sweet enough to have killed a diabetic before he finished swallowing! Dipping the churros in the Hot Chocolate was better and less sweet than the dipping sauce.

Now for the record I have a very sweet tooth and relish a slightly over the top sweetness, but this was like eating a liquefied chocolate flavoured candy cane. I reeled under the onslaught of the sugar buzz. I valiantly finished and ambled over to the counter to pay my bill. To my surprise the Potato Roll showed up despite my complaint.

I had ordered a box of 4 small chocolate cups filled with caramel, I took them and paid the bill. I then informed the cashier that the potato slices inside the sandwich were raw, thinking he hadn't been informed by the waiter, he turned around and very blasé-ly informed me that they were fried. I lost my grip and informed him that I was a caterer by profession and that fried potatoes do not oxidise in this manner and to stop treating his client like a fool. he looked shocked and gave me a bizarre open-mouthed 'heh' with a 'schoolboy caught playing truant look. No apology - nothing!!

I stormed out to the car and picked up my wife and her friends who were out at dinner. I then offered them the Caramel Chocolate Cups. The verdict, they were dehydrated and tasted of Eau de Fridge!! The Caramel was lumpy and chewy, the chocolate cup uneven and the little silver balls on top decidedly metallic. This escapade cost me Rs 1064/- and left a terribly bad taste in my mouth to boot.  All in all an utter disaster.

So those of you who want to visit please desist. Those who have no option stick to the Thick Dark Spanish Hot Chocolate and Churros sans dipping sauce.

Why?

I have spent the last year mingling with, talking to, eating with, listening to and enjoying myself thoroughly with an online community of food writers. Many of these unnamed warriors are good friends today thanks to my blogging, reading their blogs and interacting with them.

One of the constant grouses I hear amongst the community is that despite being recognised as a  force majeur in the battle for eyeballs (and column space/publicity), the members of the food industry and of the fourth estate seem to think condescendingly and poorly of bloggers ... their constant threnody being that 'these people' - ie us bloggers - are amateurs at best and absolutely unqualified for the task.

What the fourth estate and the food professionals have to recognise is that in the last two years, in this day and age of social media the average customer automatically trawls the internet for data before taking the gastronomic plunge and that today's gourmand is not a fool. The relevance of the blogger is indisputable as is his/her ascendant star. The qualifications are simply based on the trust they create and the popularity they generate. If they weren't good the discerning public would simply stop listening to them! The importance of Food Blogger Peer Review is apparent from the simple fact that all PR agencies and in house PR departments make it a point to include bloggers in all their  launches, previews and PR events.

Now that I've had my little rant I'll get down to brass tacks .... all food bloggers try to be as polite as they can be in the face of bad food, poor service and generally bad packaging. I think we need a voice that tells it like it is. A place where, when I just can't be nice any more, I can  vent my spleen at mediocrity,  bad food, lousy service, indifference in the face of business and sheer stupidity - and mayhap extend guest privileges to my colleagues to do the same.

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