Sans Churros

After hearing and reading about the delicious snack that was quintessentially the Spanish pinnacle of chocolate inspired snacking - The Churro, for the last few years, I was thrilled to hear that an authentic Churro shop had finally opened in Mumbai.

San Churro at Waterfield Rd, Bandra was a destination that kept being put off for another day thanks to logistics and often sheer laziness. Finally yesterday I made it there. It was 9.45pm and the place was empty. It had a nice European (wood panelled, soft yellow lights, chome and glass counter) feel to the place, marred by a cartoonish mural of Hernando Cortez and a mermaid.   To add to my woes the chairs were pretty uncomfortable for someone my size and upon requesting a chair without handles I was informed that there were none.

I was ravenous after a long hard day and ordered a mug of thick Spanish Hot Chocolate along with a Potato Paprika Roll and a Chicken Salad Panini ... service was slow but I had time on my hands.

About 20mins later the lone waiter delivered my sandwiches and a bit later the hot chocolate. The beverage was delicious and almost one of the best Hot Chocolates I've had in Mumbai (though I must say that the one at Kitabkhana at Fountain is better). I settled into my chair and took a bite of the chicken salad sandwich, it oozed a bland generic chicken Mayo paste all over my hand. It was soggy and had a wilted darkened strip of lettuce that had seen better days, I removed the lettuce and went back to the sandwich with a fork and knife.

I then reached out for the Paprika Potato Roll and found something incredibly rubbery and simultaneously crunchy in it. A second bite convinced me something was very wrong. I opened the sandwich to find slices of oxidised blackened raw potatoes in it! The idiot who assembled it had forgotten to cook the potatoes (see picture for proof). I looked around noticed no glass of water and requested the waiter, after frantic gesticulation, to get me one. I then informed him of the raw potato ... he smiled politely and went back to his station leaving the sandwich where it was!!

Mystified I figured I needed to change the taste in my mouth. I called for their small serving of 3 Churros with Dark dipping chocolate ... the churros were fried in front of me, dusted with powdered sugar and sent out with a small bowl of dipping chocolate. I took a bite of plain churro and was rewarded with a rather pleasant combination of textures and taste, sweet, crusty, cake-ish, chewy, soft and very like a warm freshly baked pastry! I was mollified and reached out to dip my next morsel. the next morsel destroyed the nice happy feeling the churro had created. The chocolate, expensive and fancy no doubt, was gut wrenchingly sickeningly sweet ... it was almost sweet enough to have killed a diabetic before he finished swallowing! Dipping the churros in the Hot Chocolate was better and less sweet than the dipping sauce.

Now for the record I have a very sweet tooth and relish a slightly over the top sweetness, but this was like eating a liquefied chocolate flavoured candy cane. I reeled under the onslaught of the sugar buzz. I valiantly finished and ambled over to the counter to pay my bill. To my surprise the Potato Roll showed up despite my complaint.

I had ordered a box of 4 small chocolate cups filled with caramel, I took them and paid the bill. I then informed the cashier that the potato slices inside the sandwich were raw, thinking he hadn't been informed by the waiter, he turned around and very blasé-ly informed me that they were fried. I lost my grip and informed him that I was a caterer by profession and that fried potatoes do not oxidise in this manner and to stop treating his client like a fool. he looked shocked and gave me a bizarre open-mouthed 'heh' with a 'schoolboy caught playing truant look. No apology - nothing!!

I stormed out to the car and picked up my wife and her friends who were out at dinner. I then offered them the Caramel Chocolate Cups. The verdict, they were dehydrated and tasted of Eau de Fridge!! The Caramel was lumpy and chewy, the chocolate cup uneven and the little silver balls on top decidedly metallic. This escapade cost me Rs 1064/- and left a terribly bad taste in my mouth to boot.  All in all an utter disaster.

So those of you who want to visit please desist. Those who have no option stick to the Thick Dark Spanish Hot Chocolate and Churros sans dipping sauce.

Why?

I have spent the last year mingling with, talking to, eating with, listening to and enjoying myself thoroughly with an online community of food writers. Many of these unnamed warriors are good friends today thanks to my blogging, reading their blogs and interacting with them.

One of the constant grouses I hear amongst the community is that despite being recognised as a  force majeur in the battle for eyeballs (and column space/publicity), the members of the food industry and of the fourth estate seem to think condescendingly and poorly of bloggers ... their constant threnody being that 'these people' - ie us bloggers - are amateurs at best and absolutely unqualified for the task.

What the fourth estate and the food professionals have to recognise is that in the last two years, in this day and age of social media the average customer automatically trawls the internet for data before taking the gastronomic plunge and that today's gourmand is not a fool. The relevance of the blogger is indisputable as is his/her ascendant star. The qualifications are simply based on the trust they create and the popularity they generate. If they weren't good the discerning public would simply stop listening to them! The importance of Food Blogger Peer Review is apparent from the simple fact that all PR agencies and in house PR departments make it a point to include bloggers in all their  launches, previews and PR events.

Now that I've had my little rant I'll get down to brass tacks .... all food bloggers try to be as polite as they can be in the face of bad food, poor service and generally bad packaging. I think we need a voice that tells it like it is. A place where, when I just can't be nice any more, I can  vent my spleen at mediocrity,  bad food, lousy service, indifference in the face of business and sheer stupidity - and mayhap extend guest privileges to my colleagues to do the same.

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